‘Mums Can’t Do Self Care’ and other myths
"Mums can't do self care because they're too busy."
A myth that makes many mums neglect it altogether. I have 3 children and if I didn't practice good Self Care I would not cope with all the things I have to do as a mum, never mind as anything else.
In fact I didn't cope for so long, I didn't realise I wasn't coping, and then I broke.
I spent a good few years putting myself back together and have now vowed I will never neglect
Me again, so that I am here on the earth for a very long time to be the best mum i can be to my offspring.
Here’s the big thing we often forget, that I certainly did as my years as a mum went by: You can not fill others from an empty cup!
When you become so completely depleted of all you have to give, of your energy, resources, emotional support, time, that you are feeling weak, frazzled, burned out, you are at the point where you are not at your best to support those you love.
On my own path I started to become more angry, more irritated, more physically and emotionally worn down as I sacrificed all my needs to support my girls and family, work on my own business, look after a home, maintain friendships and to do all that I let almost all my needs take not just 2nd place, but maybe 10th, or even 20th.
Rather then than being the mum, wife, success and happy human I wanted to be, I ended up being shouty, resentful, bitter and very, very angry at all the world and all my past experiences.
Eventually as I fell apart, seeing parts of myself that I’d really not wanted to come to be slip in, I realised I had to take care of me! This became vital so I could be the consciously caring mum and human I really wanted to be.
This didn’t happen overnight, nor was it easy to start with. It took some radical self discipline, but it did start small!
It started with some basics I share in the Self Care Love Fest every few months, small, free ways to nurture my body, mind and spirit every day.
There were a few other factors aside from thinking I was too busy being a mum that had held me back too.
‘But I don't have money‘
This was probably the next biggest thing that factored in after thinking as a busy mum I couldn’t find the time.
A lot of this was down to not valuing myself. I’d happily spend £50+ on clothes, activities and toys for my girls, not to mention ensuring they got the best food, but wouldn’t find it easy to spend even just £4 on a coffee for myself in a different space.
One of the first things I began to do was take more time to have a quiet drink in a coffee shop without the girls, and without any other demands on my time that weren’t purely for me, no work, no emails and messages, just a book or something else for me.
Another big thing though was beginning to look at other things for Self Care that I’d previously thought ‘too expensive’. This included emotion and mental health support, learning some new skills and eventually investing bigger sums of up to £2000 to help myself let go of my past even more so I could begin to find healing, peace and more of what felt right in my heart and soul.
‘I don’t have money, I don't have time, I'm on my own", insert your reason here. I know you believe them all, but I'm here to tell you they are all just excuses keeping you from seeing that you are in fact worthy and deserving of just a little bit of those things!
Most of these are excuses you make out of either stories you're programmed with or from trauma response.
They are not true, at all!
Now, I know some times, some circumstances present extra challenges, but that is exactly why I'm here!
I can guide you with your own personal situation, whether that's a handful of dependant children, to a gruelling job in an exhausting profession (even if you love it), to elderly parents or other relatives that need you every day and everything in between.
Many of the services I provide can guide you through this and into deep Unconditional Self Love where you get to Nurture Yourself every day, deeply, but also be the best parent, employee, supporter of others that you can be. One of my favourite ones is the Nurture Yourself process, and I am excited to present the opportunity for people to join me online in a live group for the first time in 2 years.
I am bringing this process to a group of people from this year, 2023, at the Summer Solstice and at the
Winter Solstice. These 2 times of the year are powerful to set intentions and bring about new changes to your life if you’re ready.
You can read more about the process on the link above, and if you’d like to join me for the Live online group for 30 days, you can find when it next starts and join me for as little as £55.55 at this link here.
The only thing stopping you is your past stories, so if it’s time to let them go come and join me or contact me if you have any questions.